Cherry tree
by Kurenai0111
Summary: An unexpected tragedy strikes Yukine as he is coming home, leaving him depressed, and mute. Yato hates to think that his kid was going through one of the hardest experiences he himself had, but is determined to do everything he can so that Yukine gets better.
1. Chapter 1

He cursed Yato and his laziness, really.

His master was the one squatting at Kofuku and Daikoku's house, but refused to do _anything_ to help them. Hence Yukine proposed himself to go get something to have for dinner, after shooting a particularly angered look at his god. His situation was far from improving. Yato had even started to develop some strategies to avoid work and chores, such as coming home by the window so that Daikoku didn't know he was here. It worked for a moment, until Yukine got angry with his master and denounced him to Daikoku.

He had thought, upon watching his god being destroyed by Kofuku's shinki, that maybe Yato was going to be a little bit more reasonable now, but apparently not. The _early job's_ time began just after that. Not being here during day left Yukine and sometimes Hiyori do his chores instead. But _of course_, he would come home in time for dinner, and would make sure to take a breakfast before leaving. What a lazy god.

He didn't like being outside, really. Not at night; it was too dark, too stressful. You never knew what was lurking in the dark. He gritted his teeth silently before speeding up his pace a little. The sooner he was home, the sooner he would be fine. And the sooner he could beat up Yato for this.

"Stupid Yato," muttered the shinki, tightening his grip on the grocery bag's handle. "I'm fed up with doing your chores. Next time you do something stupid I'm going to triple your Ayakashi quota."

He was passing by the sakura tree when a familiar silhouette facing it caught his attention, making him slow down before stopping. He stared at the person's back a moment with a faint frown.

_Suzuha…? What is he doing here?_

Someone rejoined his friend before he could call for him. Yukine was too far from them to hear their conversation, but judging by Suzuha's reaction when he turned towards him, he wasn't dangerous. Suzuha smiled at him and they both looked back at the sakura together.

His earlier conversation with him about Tomoko suddenly came back to his mind as he tried to find a reason to Suzuha's presence. The sadness in his voice when he mumbled that it had been _thirty_ years since he had last seen her, the melancholy painted all over his face when he had caressed the inscription they had engraved together in the sakura's trunk with his fingertips. The corners of his mouth turned downwards as he felt a stab of sorrow for his friend. Maybe he was simply mourning for her with the stranger in this night.

Feeling out of place of what seemed to be a reunion in remembrance of Suzuha's female friend, he resumed his walk with a lump in his throat, more slowly this time. Despite all the promise of seeing each other again and all the moments they had spent together… Tomoko had still forgotten all the time she had spent with Suzuha.

Her memory normally returned each summer, when she passed by the flowerbed Suzuha loved to take care of. She would never remember him, but… She would still come back year after year, be amazed by the flowers' beauty, and have the pleasure of making Suzuha's acquaintance again.

This painful process of forgetting and learning came to an end one summer when she never came back. And… what had happened to her could as well be an alternate scenario of what could happen to Hiyori. Because of – or thanks to – Yato, she was half-Ayakashi, so she was tied more strongly to this world of gods and shinki than Tomoko, but still… He felt dangerously close to start crying. Hiyori was still half-human. And she _could_ forget. And he didn't want to.

"It's so sad… Even your master has forgotten you."

Yukine stopped a second time at these words, wondering if he had heard them right. The stranger was walking away from a frozen Suzuha, and had spoken slightly louder this time. "You will never get close to anyone."

"What…" breathed Yukine, horrified, unwillingly letting go of the bag with a soft thump.

"_There's nothing for you."_

That's when Yukine snapped, his angered voice breaking through the silence and startling both Suzuha and the stranger. "That's not true!"

Forcefully brushing past the white-haired man, he rushed to Suzuha's side. Yato had been there to comfort him about this issue, and now it was his turn. An irrepressible sentiment of fear mixed with panic made him grip his friend's shoulders a little too tightly, and maybe speak a little too loud. "Hey Suzuha, you mustn't listen to him!"

"Y-Yukine…" Yukine winced at his broken voice, devoid of all Suzuha's usual cheeriness. There was no way Suzuha had been reduced to this wreck just because of a handful of words: no, he must have been really struggling emotionally recently to be _this_ affected by simple words. Yukine lowered his head, ashamed not to have seen something was wrong earlier.

Time wasn't to regret, however. He quickly regained his composure and stared at his friend's eyes, hoping he was getting through him. "Suzuha, listen to me. None of what he said is true. You… You and I are friends, aren't we? You are close to me; you _do _mean something to me! You're… my dearest friend, Suzuha. The first friend I ever had. Don't listen to him and his nonsense! You're _stronger_ than that! Stronger than him!"

Suzuha's eyes softened a little and his expression of shock transform into a wobbly smile upon hearing Yukine's lasts words. Hearing that his existence was treasured by someone; _at least_ someone cared about him. Maybe he wasn't _that_ useless in the end. "Y-Yukine…"

The stranger turned back to the two young shinki, looking mildly annoyed by this. "I don't want to be rude, but you're kind of interrupting our discussion. Say, why don't you go back to your god of calamity and leave us alone, hm?"

Yukine shifted so that his emotionally weakened friend wouldn't see the white-haired man. "First of all, _never_ insult my god again. And there is no way I will let you verbally abuse him any longer. Who the hell are you, to talk to Suzuha like that?!"

"No need to get worked up," he answered with a polite smile. "I'm Kugaha. Pleased to meet you, kid."

"I'm absolutely _not _pleased to meet you, bastard." This mocking attitude was seriously getting on his nerves. "Be sure your goddess is going to learn what you have just done. You have no right to talk to Suzuha like that. Now leave him alone."

As if on purpose, the lights of the streetlamps, sole source of light in this night, flickered once, and twice, before finally staying on. Yukine felt himself tremble at these few seconds of total darkness, which had been more than enough to make him start panicking again. He had been so worried about Suzuha that he had almost forgotten his fear of the dark. _Almost_ forgotten.

Kugaha smirked mockingly when he saw Yukine's legs start to tremble. "What, are you scared of the dark?"

He wanted to come home _now_. Right now, his phobia of the dark was acting up again and it was making him having difficulties to breathe and he knew he should be home already, but there was no way he could let Suzuha like that. He had made his choice. Suzuha wouldn't stay alone with this madman. He thought about it for a second, and guessed that Yato probably wouldn't be angry if Suzuha stayed at Kofuku's shrine just for this night. And neither would Daikoku and Kofuku be.

Yukine frowned when Kugaha suddenly burst out laughing and gripped Suzuha's hand from behind. Suzuha weakly squeezed it back. "What's so funny? Leave Suzuha and me alone. I-I won't let you-"

"Leave Suzuha alone, huh… Kid, stop acting all strong, you're shaking like a leaf. And in all honestly, it wouldn't be such a good idea to leave him alone, would it? Because if I do… Tell me Suzuha, who is going to be by your side then? Bishamon? She doesn't even know you exist."

Suzuha flinched as if he had been directly hit, and fury flooded Yukine, eclipsing his fear temporarily. How _dared_ he say that?! "Bishamon is his goddess; of course she _cares_ about him! She cares about all her shinki, and Suzuha _too_! The only shinki she should release already is _you_!"

"You really are an annoying kid," cut Kugaha with irritation. "Exactly the type of kid I can't support, thinking you know everything. Tell me, then. You're his friend, so you must know, right? A simple question. What's his weapon form?"

Yukine's anger evaporated as he stayed mouth slightly agape at the question. _Suzuha's weapon form?_ "I-It's…" He closed and opened his mouth several times, rummaging through all his memories for an answer that didn't want to come. Suzuha must have had mentioned it. He _must_ have. "O-One day, we were talking about the shinki Bishamon-sama used when she fought, and… you told me… um… it's…"

Suzuha released a pitiful sound from deep within his throat at Yukine's lack of response. He whispered something that Yukine couldn't hear, his head hung down, a fringe of dark brown hair hiding his lacklustre eyes. Yukine glanced at behind him, alarmed when he saw him start to tremble. "S-Suzuha, I-"

Kugaha's smirk widened. "You don't know his weapon form, do you? But don't worry, really. It was a trick question; you couldn't have found the answer. He couldn't have told you. After all, it has been so long that Suzuha's been called that even _he_ has forgotten his weapon form."

"But Bishamon's not the only person who has forgotten about you, is she? Yeah, there's that human girl from the Near Shore too… Tomoko, was it? Say… what can you tell me about her? How old is she now? What's her family name? Has she contacted you recently? After all… You mattered _so_ _much_ for her. She couldn't have forgotten you like that, could she?"

Yukine's eyes darkened as he understood the true intentions of that man. He was destroying Suzuha's soul, overwhelming him with bad feelings and negative thoughts so that he would be an easy prey for Ayakashi. He would be damned if he didn't make that man shut up _now_. "That's enough," barked Yukine. His whole being was radiating with rancour when he stepped towards Kugaha. "I won't let you accomplish what you want to with Suzuha. Shut up _now_ before I force you doing so."

"What a foul mouth you have. Teenagers, I swear... I have somewhere to go anyway, _unlike_ him. Bishamon needs me, so I will let him alone. But before I leave, I'd like to have a little fight with you. You know, you're the shinki of a god of calamity… I'm just curious to see your strength. You don't mind that so much, do you?"

One quick look at Suzuha made Yukine's fists clench hard. He couldn't let Suzuha be destroyed, and the way he had said that he wanted a fight sounded more like an order than a demand. If being beaten in a fight would make him finally leave, then fine. "Fine," retorted darkly Yukine. "I'm going to make you regret what you have proposed. And don't _ever _speak about my god like that again, or I will make you regret it."

Something like a rapid gust of deadly wind passed close, very close to Yukine's throat. He took a step back in fear, and managed to dodge it just in time for the borderline to leave only a shallow cut on Yukine's throat as a proof of its passage. He didn't even have time to recover from his shock as he saw what the borderline had been originally aimed at.

He hurriedly swung his arm horizontally to annul the line which was meant to slash his friend's throat. "Borderline!" The two clashed with equal strength, to Kugaha's great surprise, and the shock wave sent Suzuha flying a few metres backwards. The shinki hit his head against the sakura with a too loud sound in Yukine's taste, and fell limp against it. Unconscious.

"_Suzuha_!"

Kugaha whistled. "Not bad at all…! I didn't think you would manage to destroy it. You're stronger than you look, that's for sure." He would have started to seriously worry if his enemy had been an _adult_ with Yukine's strength. But now, he was facing a child. A young, scared and vulnerable child, and was determined to use this fact at his advantage. He knew he would win. "But you have no time to worry for him, kid; the fight has to get an issue first. And it's not like he is _that_ important either…"

Yukine growled low in his throat before attacking him again. How dared he denigrate Suzuha's existence like that? Like he was no one important, not an existence worth worrying over or caring about? These thoughts fuelled an uncontrolled rage in him which strengthened his borderlines one after another as he threw them towards his opponent. Kugaha dodged them with a mocking ease, deciding the end would come soon. "Hey, I asked for a fight, not this _farce_. Do you even know how to aim? I'm right here. Maybe you need me to stop moving a moment so that you can touch me?"

Yukine's fingernails dug into his palms, leaving angry red marks on them. He didn't understand. He _knew_ he was stronger than him, so why couldn't he touch him? "And I heard you're your god's only shinki… I would seriously worry if I were him. Thank goodness he still has his nora to rely on if he is in trouble, because just with you… He would have already disappeared."

Kugaha knew he had pushed one of Yukine's buttons when he saw his expression. "_Stop fooling around_!" yelled Yato's shinki. He knew Kugaha was trying to mess with his head and his emotions and making him doubt about his emotional pillars, and hated to admit that he had succeeded. "D-Do you know how to do anything else than escape, or are you too scared to fight?!"

"See, _that's_ the problem with you. You don't sound scary, just because you're letting your emotions get the best of you. The fight is already over, kid. I won. _Restraint."_

All of a sudden, invisible chains clacked in Yukine's ears and prevented him from moving a single of his fingers. _I'm letting my emotions… get the best of me? _"Wh-What h-have y-you done…?"

"Relax, I just used a spell," answered Kugaha with a sickeningly sweet smile, approaching step from step to the unconscious Suzuha, enjoying Yukine's increasing cries and groans as he tried to undo the spell placed on him. "Nothing too advanced. I'm just a shinki, like you. But it's a pity, really. If _only_ you were a hafuri… If you were a hafuri, then you would have been capable to beat me without problem, and save your friend. Hafuri are strong, unlike you."

"Or not even a hafuri; you know, the only reason I managed to beat you was because you are emotionally _weak_. A few taunts and provocations, and you get angry. Anger and sadness are the kind of negative emotions which can make me take the upper hand on you. If your god were here… You wouldn't have been able to protect him, that's for sure. I could definitely have killed him, and you wouldn't have been able to do anything, given how weak you are."

"I-I'm…" breathed Suzuha.

Kugaha crouched in front of him to whisper in his ear. "You see, Suzuha, I have been right all along. You mean _nothing_ to _anyone_. Not to your _only_ friend… Not to your goddess… And not to the one you love either. So really, what's the point of you being alive, hm?"

Kugaha studied Suzuha's face a second before caressing his cheek, walking away and sitting cross-legged next to the frozen Yukine. Once he was settled, he smiled brightly at him, looking like an excited child who was going to see his favourite spectacle. "Hey kid, I'm going to weaken the spell I placed on you. Not too much, because you would attack me again and I can see you're mad at me, but just enough so that you can yell your friend's name through the show. You will like it, you will see."

Mask-wearing wolves appeared after he snapped his fingers, taking a few seconds to localize their prey before savagely pouncing on their victim. Suzuha was slammed back against the tree and cried out in pain, however it was quickly silenced when the Ayakashi bit him in his throat. And no matter how loud Yukine yelled or cried through it, the wolves _never_ stopped. Blood was spilled, flesh was ripped, and a few minutes later, an emaciated carcass leaning against a bloody cherry tree was all was left of Suzuha.

"_Release."_

Yukine fell to his knees the second the spell was undone and scrambled towards his friend's corpse, horrified by what had just happened. Suzuha's face wasn't even recognizable anymore, but he couldn't tell if it was because of the wolves' attack or the tears blurring his sight. He blindly shook his shoulders, called his name and checked his pulse, his emotions firmly refusing to cooperate with his brain. He couldn't accept it. Suzuha _couldn't_ be dead; not because of him. Not because he had lost that stupid fight. Not because hadn't been strong enough to protect him. "Suzuha… _Suzuha_!"

Kugaha stood up with a wince and bent over the two children. "That's useless, kid. The wolves really did a number on him. I didn't really want them to be this violent, but I got what I wanted at the end. Suzuha is dead; and not just a little, Yukine. Some carrion animals should come to finish the job soon."

Kugaha left after a last emotionless glance at Suzuha's corpse. Everything was going smoothly. Sure, Yukine's arrival had been unexpected and had had him worried for a second, but he was glad that he hadn't changed anything to his plans in the end. Bishamon would feel his death, and then…

Yukine hadn't heard him move away over his own bawling voice. He embraced what was left of his friend's body tightly in his arms, ignoring the feeling of his fingers digging in bare flesh – he wouldn't be eating meat any time soon, that was for sure -, the smell of blood covering the corpse, the soft pads or wing flapping of wild animals gathering around the corpse, and the red _everywhere_. Here, alone in the night, he yelled until his throat was too painful to use his voice anymore and couldn't breathe.

* * *

It was almost three o'clock when Yukine _finally_ came home. He didn't even know how he had come home. How he had found the way back. He didn't even know what he was feeling or thinking about right now.

All lights were off in Kofuku's shrine, so he supposed that they had all gone to sleep while he was outside. This was understandable, given how late it was. He turned the doorknob with trembling fingers, and lit the light on, noticing that except one person was here, arms folded and sat around Kofuku's low table. Yato's head snapped towards the door the very second it clicked. "There you were, Yukine! Seriously, where were you?! I was worried _sick_! Do you think it's normal for a kid to come home at three o'clock!?"

Yato opened his mouth to continue his worried rambling, but trailed off when he took time to observe Yukine. His head was hung low, and Yato could all too clearly see the dried tearstains under them. His face, as well as his clothes and his hands were covered in dried blood. Yato blanched with horror at this spectacle. "Y-Yukine…?"

Yukine didn't move. "…Yukine? Hey, kid. Yukine, talk to me." Yato was getting seriously worried by now, and saw with horror the pieces of flesh embedded under his fingernails; on his bloodied fingers. "Yukine. What happened to you?"

_If your god were here… You wouldn't have been able to protect him, that's for sure. I could definitely have killed him, given how weak you are._

_See, that's the problem with you. You're letting your emotions get the best of you. The fight is already over, kid. I won. Restraint. _

Yukine stayed silent, no matter his god's words. He supposed he was still too in shock to answer to any of them. He didn't like worrying him, but… There was honestly nothing he could do to reassure him. After ten minutes of useless monologue, Yato reluctantly released his shoulders; Yukine only tightened his lips and weakly brushed past his god before going straight in his bedroom. Yato stayed dumbfounded a moment by his cold reaction, before fear settled in him. Something important had happened.

He grabbed a clean t-shirt from the pile of clothes Kofuku had washed earlier before rejoining his kid in the bedroom, determined at least make him speak a little bit. He was terrified, thinking that Yukine had almost been killed, or had killed someone, or something of the kind, and needed Yukine to _speak_.

The light wasn't even on when he arrived. His brows furrowed even more. "Yukine? You forgot to turn on the light."

Still no answer. Yato sighed before flipping the switch on and padding next to his shinki's futon. The blanket was covering Yukine's body to the exception of the top of his head. The god knelt and stared at him with concerned eyes. "Yukine, you can't sleep with bloodied clothes like that. Put that on, if you don't want to shower first."

Yato refused to give up despite Yukine's silence. "You don't want to talk to me? Do you want to talk to someone else, then? Or do you want to speak later? I can't go to sleep knowing you're in such a state, Yukine."

No answer. Yato started to run his fingers through his hair; Yukine didn't move at the contact, and Yato wondered if he had even _felt_ it. "Can you at least tell me where did all that blood come from? Is it yours?"

The god felt his shinki's head move from side to side almost imperceptibly after an instant. He let out a silent sigh of relief. "Okay then. If you're not hurt then it's fine. I'm glad."

Yukine heard some muffled shuffling next to him as the god reluctantly covered himself with the covers of his futon, helplessness at Yukine's situation overwhelming him. "I'm willing to talk whenever you want to, Yukine. You can wake me up too. I'm always telling you not to bottle everything up, so… Try to get some sleep, alright? And we will talk tomorrow."

Warm tears that he didn't think he had left began to leak from his eyes, not seeming like they wanted to stop. He tried to sob as silently as he could so that he wouldn't disturb Yato, but he heard some movement from the god. Of course: even if he couldn't hear it, he could still _feel_ it. "It's okay," reassured Yato, restarting to comb a hand in his hair. "It's okay, kid. I'm here. It's over now."

After a moment of hesitation, Yato muttered. "You're sure you don't want to talk now? Come on, talk to me… Hey kid, you're starting to really scare me."

Yukine didn't answer, not knowing how to even _begin_ to tell what happened to his god. Suzuha was dead because of him, because he was _weak_, because he hadn't been able to protect him. His thoughts were starting to mix up and change in his head because of all the pain and stress and grief: one second he saw Suzuha's corpse, and the other it was Yato who leaning against the bloody cherry tree, eaten by animals while he watched it all. And after that it was _Hiyori_ who was dead, and also Kofuku, and-

He felt horrible. This vision was _horrible_. He had already lost his only friend, and he was going to lose his god too because of he was too weak. Thinking that Yato, his friend, his _god_, the person he had sworn to protect on his name could die because of him and his mistakes made him feel sick to the core, and broken.

He didn't sleep the rest of this harrowing night.


	2. Chapter 2

When Yato woke up from his too short night, Yukine still hadn't moved from his futon. The bloodstains on him and Yukine's silence confirmed him that what had happened yesterday was real. His expression turned into a frown as he looked at Yukine's unmoving form. "Yukine…"

Yukine wiped his eyes and his nose with his sleeve and sniffled a little, still hidden under his blanket.

_You're letting your emotions get the best of you._

No matter how hard it was for him, he couldn't bother Yato with his problems, no matter how big or important they seemed to be. He was going to be _strong_.

"H-Hey, where are you going?" He asked when Yukine stood up. "You can't go downstairs like that: the others are going to have a heart attack when they see you. Take a shower before going to eat breakfast. You're all bloody."

"Training," answered Yukine's hollow voice. "I will see you later."

Yato frowned and was about to say something before his kid teleported. So still not ready to speak, then. He stood up and got into his head to find his kid. He couldn't let him be outside with blood all over his clothes like that, and he needed to _talk_. It seemed very, very unlikely after everything he had been through and survived to, and it wasn't Yukine's style to give up so quickly either, but Yukine was still a kid driven by his emotions who could do a big mistake if his state worsened further. Yato wasn't willing to take the risk.

"Hello, Yato-chan!" sang Kofuku. His shinki greeted him more coldly - maybe because of yesterday, when he didn't go to the shop despite being asked to - but Yato didn't pay much attention to either of their salutations. Hiyori's smile upon seeing the god's arrival turned into a small frown. "Yato, wasn't Yukine-kun with you?"

"Say Yato, why did he come home so late yesterday? Did something happen?" asked Daikoku with a touch of worry in his voice.

"…He wouldn't say. But he had cried a lot. I'm worried," admitted finally the god. "I never felt him being so sad. I'm going to search him."

"I will come too, Yato," said Hiyori, an Ayakashi tail appearing behind her as her body dropped to the floor.

"Kofuku and I will too. There is no way I can't let him alone when he is like that, and I haven't seen him at all since yesterday." Yato looked at each of their faces a moment, then sighed before grabbing his tracksuit and leaving the house, not checking if they were following him or not. He heard some noise behind him not too soon after, and the others were indeed ready to go with him. "Where do you want to start, Yato-chan?"

They checked every place he could think of. Yukine wasn't at Tenjin's shrine, and he hadn't come back to Kofuku's. After about twenty minutes of fruitless searching, Yato decided to give a quick phone call to Kazuma. The latter had kept the conversation brief, surely because Bishamon wouldn't appreciate it, saying hadn't any information more to give about Yukine's whereabouts and hung up.

Yato kept the phone to his ear a few moments after the call ended. Kazuma's voice sounded… off. Like something was tormenting him. So not only something was wrong with Yukine, but with Kazuma too. _Great_. He thought about calling Kazuma again to know what was wrong, but finally decided to focus on Yukine. Kazuma could always talk to the psycho bitch if something really bothered him. She was his goddess, after all. A crazy nympho, but his goddess nonetheless.

Ten minutes after that call, they still hadn't found him. Yukine wasn't at Hiyori's school, and he wasn't at her house either. Their search near the cherry tree turned out to be a waste of time too. Yato's worry increased exponentially each time one of their guess were wrong, but a strong yell from a familiar voice soon eased all his fears. "BORDERLINE!"

All of their eyes widened as they carefully advanced towards the source of Yukine's voice, a step after another, careful not to be noticed by him. Yukine was in the middle of what must have been a grove, or maybe a small forest before all its trees had been cut clean by his attacks. Yato frowned.

"BORDERLINE!" Another tree crashed to the ground, his trunk cut neatly by the horizontal borderline.

He _didn't_ _want_ to tell Yato. He needed to keep this for himself. He needed to hold on, just a little longer…

Yato rubbed his chest with his hand as he observed him with a frown. It wasn't really anger he was feeling from him, but more… frustration. A dangerously high frustration and a strong rancour directed at a specific person he couldn't name despite his best efforts. Was this person the source of all Yukine's problems? "Yukine-kun…" muttered sadly Hiyori. "He really isn't like himself."

"Yato-chan, you should go talk to him, shouldn't you?" From where the god was, he could only see part of Yukine's face, and he was wearing an expression of ire like Yato had never seen before. His teeth were gritted hard, almost like a wild animal, the normally white part of his eyes had taken a strong purple colour, and his warm orange pupils were slowly turning yellow.

He raised his arm once again, however this time the borderline only did a shallow cut on the trunk. A sort of monstrous aura had started to envelop his body, and Yato's breathing started to speed up as he recognized the beginning of a transformation into an Ayakashi. "Why…" he growled. "W**h**y **D**i**d**_n_'t I c**U**t **t**h_e_m _al_**L**…**?**" Yato froze at the sound of that inhumane voice. "I… _**I**_ th**o**u**G**h_t_ I _**W**__as_ _s_tr**O**n_**g**_… _T_**H**a_t's_ w**H**y I _c_ou**L**dn't _p_**R**o_te_ct h**I**m…" Yato let out a strangled sound from the bottom of his throat, and found himself short of breath quickly. Hearing this voice brought one of Yato's deeply buried traumas to surface, something he had never really emotionally managed to deal with.

But then the aura disappeared as quickly as it came when Yukine coughed before falling to his knees and faint, to Yato's horror. That was effective in making him stop thinking about Sakura, and worry for someone else. "_Yukine_!"

They all rushed towards him, everyone sans Yato gasping when the god turned him on his back. "What's all this blood on him…?" asked Kofuku, going pale when she saw his face.

"It's not his, Kofuku," quickly assured the god upon hearing the waver in the goddess' voice. He cleared his throat to get rid of the lump in it before continuing. "H-He came home like that yesterday. I still didn't find out why, though."

"And it's high time I know," he added before teleporting back with the others.

* * *

"But _why_ have you done that?! I thought our objective was only to cause pain to Ane-sama! So that she would finally notice us! You needn't murdering Suzuha under this child's eyes!" cried Aiha.

Kugaha had expected Aiha to reproach him his acts when he came back. Yukine's presence had been unexpected, but it's true that he could have done something else. Just knock him out, and do the job. He didn't need to necessarily see that. Okay, he had maybe done a mistake, but it has been almost one hour _non_-_stop_ that she was complaining. He decided to put a stop to her questions when her voice prevented him to concentrate on his work anymore, "Oh, Aiha, won't you _just_ stop talking! You're giving me a headache."

"But Kuga-sens-"

He whipped around from where he was sat, and came directly face to face with the pink-haired shinki, almost pinning her to the wall. "_Stop that_." He waited before taking a step back. "Relax, Aiha. Everything is fine now. The objective is that Yato kills Bishamon. That hasn't changed, and I assure you I will do what I have to so that the plan succeeds. The fact that the kid happened to be here is a coincidence, really. Don't worry about him. It's not that terrible."

Aiha pressed one of her hands to her chest, not daring to answer. He returned to Bishamon's prescriptions of medicine with a sadistic smile. "And now… All we have to take Iki Hiyori. Then it will be over."

* * *

_No matter how fast he ran towards him, or how loud he called for him, he couldn't stop Suzuha from sinking further into the black void created by his dreams. He had run so much that he felt out of breath and that sweat started to run down his forehead, but he didn't care right now. He wanted desperately to be able to save him _thistime_, knowing he wouldn't bear another failure._

_Then all of sudden, as if he had finally heard Yukine's frantic pleas, Suzuha stopped walking away. Yukine's surprise quickly morphed into a relieved expression as he extended a hand towards him. "Suzu-"_

_The voice which answered to him was definitely too grave and sadistic to be his friend's. "It's your fault I am dead, Yukine."_

_Yukine didn't even find words to answer him, and let his arm fall uselessly at his side. Suzuha whipped around in a smooth movement, an angry fire burning under all his tears, a face that had nothing to do with his usual sunny expression. "If you had protected me from Kugaha, then I wouldn't have died! I… I wanted to see Tomoko again! Why didn't you _let_ me see her, Yukine?!" _

_His throat suddenly went dry at his friend's hard way of showing the truth. "S-Suzuha… I-"_

"_Don't you dare speak to me!" he roared, making Yukine flinch under all the accusations and raw pain directed at him. He felt his eyes start to sting him as he clenched his fists. "Yukine, you… How do you think you would feel if you couldn't see Hiyori again?" His voice wasn't angry anymore now. It was just utterly _broken, _and sad. He came a step closer from the trembling Yukine. "You care about Hiyori, right? She is an important human for you. It was the same for me. I…I _loved_ that girl. How could you not save _me_, and let me see her again? How could you have been so egoist_?"

_Suzuha's voice was so soft that it was painful to hear. He didn't sound angry, just broken, genuinely wondering how Yukine could have done that to him. "Suzuha, I'm sorry…" Yukine fell to his knees, and put his hands on his head as he was trying his best to protect himself from this creation of his nightmare. "I didn't want to let you die, Suzuha… But I… I'm s-sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so, so _sorry_…"_

"_Well, I'm dead now. And it's your entire fault. You were the only one who could have saved me."_

_Yukine felt his heart break._

His eyelids felt like they had been stuck together with glue while he had been unconscious. After more efforts that it had any right to have, he finally succeeded in the hard task of opening his eyes. His vision adjusted after having blinked a few times, and as he looked around him he noticed that _everyone_ was staring at him with big and sad eyes without daring to speak. A heavy silence fell in the room as he sat up in his futon, still feeling as exhausted as before and shaken up from the nightmare.

"…So that's what has been bothering you all this time," whispered Yato. Yukine didn't dare to look up at his face, but he hoped his expression wasn't as sad as his voice sounded. "I'm sorry for your friend, Yukine."

Yukine stared at him incomprehensively with a blank look, brows slightly furrowed. Daikoku saw the unsaid question in his eyes, and decided to answer for him. "You… You have been yelling his name since a few minutes now… Yato wondered if you were having a nightmare. And you said that you were sorry to have let him die. You kept repeating that. So… the blood on you is his, then? You're not hurt, are you?"

"Yukki…" Kofuku had never seen Yukine in such a devastated state, eyes bloodshot, his face whiter than a sheet of paper. The young shinki's gaze lowered to his bloodied hands on his lap, his eyes staying there for a terribly long moment in the silence. Hiyori hesitated, but reached out to dry the remnants of tears on his face, and caressed his cheek with her thumb. "Yukine-kun… I'm really sorry for your friend. Is there anything we can do for you to get better?" Yukine still said nothing, so she gave up on her attempt to cheer him up and retracted her hand.

_What to do… to get better…?_

He bit his lower lip a short instant as he lowered his head further before slowly moving from his bed and taking refuge from the world in Yato's arms, burying his face in his torso. He wasn't thinking about if he would have done that in normal circumstances at all; right now, he was just sad and tired and grieving for the only friend he ever had and wanted to be comforted by Yato. A hint of a blush appeared on his god's cheeks. "H-Hey, Yukine…!"

He was about to question his weird behaviour further when he felt Yukine's presence slowly disappear from his mind, all his sadness disappearing, and his breathing become regular.

Yato's shock lessened a bit as he held Yukine tighter in his arms. "He is already asleep?" asked Hiyori in a hushed voice, surprised it had taken mere seconds. Yato nodded without making noise. "I will stay here until he wakes up," he answered her in an equally low voice. "He will have another nightmare if I leave. And he really needs to sleep." He looked at the innocence on Yukine's sleeping face, and placed a soft kiss on his pale forehead. He hoped he would be able to make him feel better soon. Or at least, he would do his best.

"It's okay," he said in his hair. "It's alright now."

* * *

He really wasn't looking forward to reveal everything to Yato. If he could, he would have chosen never to say a word about the tragedy which had happened because of his weakness. But he had bothered him so much… Yato hadn't slept the entire night because he was scared he would have another nightmare. Maybe he shouldn't bottle everything up, and talk to him.

He took a bath – it had been a moment since he last took one, he felt like _Yato_ -, the warm water proving itself effective in calming his nerves. He dried himself, and frowned when he saw his clothes. Yato had told him that Daikoku had already prepared some for him in the bathroom, but he was certain he had never seen them before. A nice short-sleeved red top, and a dark brown pair of jeans. The feeling he had when he put them on was strange too, and he didn't take long to piece everything together and understand that they had been bought recently for him.

He smiled softly at this unexpected attention before going downstairs. "Hello, sleeping beauty!" said Yato with a big grin when he arrived. The god put a warm cup of tea in front of his kid, and a can of sake in front of him. "Here, drink that first. You cried a lot yesterday; you must be dehydrated."

"Yesterday…?"

"Yeah, yesterday. After you fainted, I brought you home. After your _desperate_ plea of you asking me to cuddle you, I accepted, and you've been sleeping ever since. I left you a few minutes ago to make you some tea, and I was about to come back, but given you're already awake..." The god smirked at Yukine's expression. "Don't you remember, _Yukine_?"

"No I don't. You're saying nonsense again, Yato," lied Yukine, his cheeks all red. Yato let out a small laugh at this and pushed the cup of tea on the table towards his kid. "Drink anyway. It's going to be cold."

"T-Thank you," mumbled the shinki before taking a few sips. The tea had cooled down a little, but was just as agreeable for his dehydrated body. "All right," breathed Yato when he put the cup down. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"… Where are Kofuku-san and Daikoku-san?"

"Outside, they're bringing Hiyori home. Just one thing, because I think you're going to use that card not to speak to me. Speaking about your problems doesn't make you someone weak. I don't know what happened there, but it's important and I want you to say it to me."

"But you never say anything about you," mumbled the shinki. "You always seem so strong, like nothing ever bother you. You lived terrible things, yet you never complain about it. But I... I cry all the time, and I always make you worry about me and can't keep anything to myself because I'm not strong enough."

"_Who the hell told you that_?" asked Yato with genuine surprise. He knew his kid: this kind of idea had definitely been put in his head by someone. "It's not..." He sighed when he saw Yukine's face. "Yukine. I don't know if you remember, but you almost transformed into an Ayakashi earlier." Yukine looked at Yato with wide surprised eyes. "Something important is going on with you, and I want you to say it. Do you understand? Do you think you could you do that for me?"

Yukine gulped and looked away from his god's insistent gaze. He might not understand and know everything about his god, but he had sounded really afraid when he had told him he had almost transformed. Yato had really deserved some explanations, given how much he had been worried about him. "It's Suzuha… He is _dead_," said Yukine, his voice breaking at the last word. "He is dead and it's all my fault, Yato…"

Yato rubbed his shinki's arm with his thumb. "Breathe. Tell me from the beginning what happened."

"Y-Yesterday… I was coming home and I saw Suzuha in front of the tree he was tending to. I… I was wondering why he was there, but someone came. He said that he was Bishamon-sama's shinki and he started to… to say things to him…"

"…What kind of things?"

"That he wasn't going to be close to anyone, that he was useless, that he meant nothing…" Yato averted his gaze from his kid, but pushed his own discomfort aside to focus on his kid's story. "After that, I-I asked him to stop saying that."

"You _asked?_" repeated Yato, looking incredulous. The corner of Yukine's lips turned into a tiny smile. "Stop lying, Yukine, I'm sure you didn't just _ask_."

"…I was angry at him, so I shouted at him."

Yato's grin widened. "_Shouted at him_?"

"…_Yelled_ at him," admitted Yukine with a slight blush. "I was angry."

"_That's _my boy," snickered the god, enjoying Yukine's slight blush. "I-It's true that I didn't just ask nicely. But he said that if I wanted him to stop, then I had to win a fight against him. And… I know his words were meant to break Suzuha. He just said some things that… that were meant to. I had never seen Suzuha looking so sombre. Bishamon-sama's other shinki couldn't have said that _not_ on purpose. I didn't know why he wanted Suzuha to die, but… I wanted to protect him. I tried my best, I really did, but…" His smile disappeared suddenly, and so did Yato's. "I lost the fight."

Yukine's eyes watered as his speech accelerated. "He was stronger than me. He provoked me, and I reacted to it, and... I couldn't do anything… He used a spell on me, and I was forced to watch _everything_! The wolves tore him apart. They tore him apart, Yato! I-I can still see his corpse, and it makes me sick! He died, and he was covered in blood, and after that carrions came to eat what was left of him and they broke his bones and-"

"Stop," said suddenly Yato, stopping his panicked rambling. He sighed before tucking his shinki's head on his shoulder. "I understand now. None of this was your fault."

"I-It w-_was_, Yato. I was the only one who could have protected him, but I didn't succeed."

"No, it wasn't. Suzuha was your friend, and _only_ your friend. You mustn't blame yourself for his death because it wasn't your duty to protect him, Yukine. You tried your best. It's Bishamon's other shinki's fault, and only his. Do you understand that?"

He understood. Suzuha was his friend, not his responsibility. He shouldn't feel like it was entirely his fault, but somehow still felt like it was. He was there, after all. He could have done something. "It must have been scary to see that, and I'm sorry for that. I wish I had been there for you. But… hang on, okay? It wasn't your fault. You will need time to mourn for him, and I will stay with you all this time, I promise. You will get better."

"I miss him, Yato. It hurt, seeing him dying like that. He never deserved something so terrible."

"I know, and I'm sorry." Yato pulled away slightly. "You must feel hugged out, don't you? Are you okay now?"

"Hm-mh," said Yukine timidly. "I guess. A little bit. Thank you… for listening to me. I'm sorry I bothered you."

"It's nothing," said Yato with a toothy and relieved grin. "I prefer to see you like that than all sad and crying. Go clean your face, and eat something too, okay? We can do a job if you want, to cheer you up. We will talk again tonight."

Yukine nodded shyly before standing up and going in the stairs. Yato watched him with a fond smile, opening his can of sake and taking a few gulps of the cold drink. He felt guilty not having been there to protect his kid, even more because it was his fault he was outside in the first place. If he had known going outside a few moments would lead to this… Then he would have gone to the shop instead.

"Y-You're here," rasped a voice coming from the entrance of the shrine. "Yato, I hate saying this but I-I need your help."

A wounded Daikoku managed to limp next to the table where he almost collapsed, if Yato hadn't managed to catch him in time. "What the- What happened to you, Daikoku?!"

Seeing Daikoku barely managing not to make the unconscious Kofuku in his arms fall was not something Yato had expected to see when the door opened. He carefully knelt before delicately posing the goddess of poverty on the floor. "H-Help my goddess. She is blighted, and wounded too."

Yato stayed shocked a few seconds more before obeying and grabbing a first aid kit in the kitchen along with a bottle of divine water. He fell to his knees behind Daikoku. "What happened to you two? Daikoku, are you alright? You look like you're going to collapse right now. Sit down, and try to rest a little."

"Not yet. I need to take care of her now. I would gladly let you do that, but I never know what you can do to her," said Daikoku, scrunching up his face. Yato made a face before giving up. "Okay, _you_ take care of her. But take off your shirt; I can already see your wounds bleeding through it, and you can't reach your back anyway. Am I _allowed_ to take care of your wounds or not, Daikoku-_san_?"

Daikoku grunted at the suffix before effectively taking his pink shirt off. The god frowned at the numerous blighted wounds on the shinki's back before starting to treat them. "Who did that to you?"

"It was one of Bishamon-sama's shinki," grumbled Daikoku. "He attacked us without warning with Ayakashi. And Yato, I'm sorry… My goddess and I did everything we could, but he has taken Hiyori-chan with him."

Yato froze. "I tried to protect them both, but he knocked my goddess and me out when we lowered our guard. We just woke up, and Hiyori-chan wasn't there anymore."

Yato gritted his teeth. Bishamon was going too far; what had she planned to do with her? What could she want to Hiyori? "I'm sure she will be fine. She is a strong girl. I'm going to take her back."

"You mean _we_'re going to take her back," said Yukine, looking better now that all the tears and traces of blood had completley left his face. A fluffy towel was resting on his shoulders. He stepped into the living room further and crossed his arms, a few drops of water falling on the towel at this action. "We have to save her. I don't know why Bishamon-sama took her, but she's in danger there."

Yato eyed him a moment before nodding. "Okay, then." Yato stood up and zipped his tracksuit, sitting on the genkan to put on his boots. "Daikoku and Kofuku, you stay here. I don't know what or who could attack you both, so I'm going to ask Ookuninushi if he can look after you two. I don't like you two being alone when you can't fight back."

"You don't have his phone number, dumbass," said Daikoku dryly. "How are you going to call him?"

"He is one of the Seven Gods of Fortune, isn't he? Then Kofuku must have it on her phone. I'm going to use it."

"…You know the code to unlock it?"

Yato turned towards Daikoku with a smirk. "Hey, we're talking about _Kofuku_. Of course she gave me the code to unlock her phone."

Daikoku rolled his eyes, and Yato laughed a little. "Yato, let's go," pressed Yukine from somewhere close behind him. "We don't have time."

The god nodded, and after a quick call to a now worried god of agriculture, teleported to Bishamon's mansion. He didn't know what she was planning exactly, but there was no way he was going to let her do anything to his Hiyori. She would come _home_.


	3. Chapter 3

**All my apologies if some people had been waiting for this chapter for a long time. I made this one slightly longer than the two last ones, I hope you will like it. It's actually thanks to a certain person that this is published :) **

* * *

The plan in itself was pretty simple. He had to infiltrate Bishamon's mansion without getting recognized by any of shinki first, and then find where Hiyori was held captive and rescue her. With enough luck, maybe her shinki wouldn't recognize him at all. Only the shinki she used to fight knew a little bit about her.

He really hoped he wouldn't run into the crazy goddess, though. Although he was starting to feel better, Yukine was still absolutely in no state to fight, and they both of them would only get injured. He hated to do that, but Hiyori's safety came first.

Thankfully, Tenjin accepted to teleport them to Takamagahara, on a little hill in front of her palace. He didn't waste a second, ordered Yukine to turn into his sword form and approached wearily her palace.

"_I hope Hiyori hasn't been hurt by Bishamon-sama. I'm worried for her," _said Yukine out loud. "Hey, don't worry too much," said reassuringly the god. "I don't think she would have seriously hurt Hiyori anyway. We just find where she is, get her back pronto, and then you can study together again."

Yukine let out a sound of agreement from the bottom of his throat, sounding only half-convinced. Yato tightened his grip on the handle of the sword. "Yukine, are you alright?"

"_I'm fine. I'll be better when Hiyori is safe and sound at home." _The god nodded, and made a grimace when he finally arrived in front of her mansion; it was so _huge_. "Hey Yukine, actually I need to talk about this. Tell me, how come a crazy nympho like her has got such a big mansion to live in?! It's unfair! I want the same one too!"

"_Stop complaining. She has more shinki to take care of than you, so it's normal she has a bigger mansion than you," _sighed Yukine while rubbing his temples, not wanting to lecture his god right now. _"Let's just find Hiyori."_

Yato's lips turned downwards at the reaction from his kid, having hoped to receive... something more mean-spirited, snarkier. The usual Yukine answers. He still wasn't alright.

He nodded to him silently, let out a deep breath and started his infiltration in her castle. He frowned after a short moment. It was well past noon, yet he couldn't see anyone around in her courtyard. He advanced in the shadows, maintaining his battle stance. "Something is up."

"_Agreed. It's way too calm to be normal..." _Yukine trailed off, his voice sounding more uncertain and frightened. _"Hey Yato, look. I-Isn't that that piece of cloth the same colour as Hiyori's uniform?"_

The god knelt to grab it between two of his fingers and examine it. Indeed, the bloodied piece of cloth in his hand was indeed Hiyori's. He should have been glad to have found a lead about her situation; however the blood staining it almost entirely prevented him from doing so. "She has been hurt."

He clutched it as his eyes narrowed dangerously. "Damn Bishamon... She will regret what she did," he spat heinously. Bishamon had gone too far this time.

"_Y-Yato, let me revert. It doesn't seem like there is anyone here, and she is hurt! We have to separate ways to find her quicker before she...!" _Yukine sounded frantic, panicked, not like himself at all. Yato thought his proposition over, absolutely not fond of the idea of letting his kid alone in the enemy's territory, before reluctantly whispering his name to make him retransform.

Hiyori was hurt, and he had to rescue her as soon as possible.

A feeble voice rang out through the silence as Yukine's human form appeared. "Y-Yato..."

Yato's eyes widened. Hiyori was here. She was limping, pale, panting and Yato caught her before she fell to the ground. If one had judged her wounds from the quantity of blood on the cloth, then they would be really surprised. She was injured far worse. Yato couldn't stop his teeth from gritting.

"I-I'm so g-glad to have finally found both of you," she said with a tired smile. Her face was almost white, and her eyes were barely opened too. Yato worried that she would pass out soon. "It's s-so big here... It's like a maze."

"Where are you hurt, Hiyori?" asked the god, repressing his anger in his voice the best he could. The human's eyes started to flutter shut, and Yato's heart sank. He touched lightly her cheek with his fingertips. "H-Hey, hey, Hiyori. Hiyori. Hiyori, wake up."

Yukine watched from afar as Yato shook his friend, struggling to wake her up. And all of a sudden, he couldn't hear them anymore.

_Suzuha was slammed back against the tree and cried out in pain-_

_Blood was spilled, flesh was ripped, and a few minutes later-_

_One second he saw Suzuha's corpse, and the other it was Yato who leaning against the bloody cherry tree, eaten by animals while he watched it all. And after that it was _Hiyori_ who was dead-_

Did that mean that...

"Hiyori... Y-You're going to die too...?" breathed Yukine in the silence. Yato froze when he saw his expression.

Tears leaked from his eyes.

_Yukine, you were the only one who could have protected me! Why did you let me die?!_

Gravity slammed his knees to the ground with full force, where he curled up on himself. His whimpers grew in intensity. They became watery sobs, then cries, then terrifying, loud, throat-wrenching yells that would forever be anchored in both Yato and Hiyori's minds.

He kept shaking his head, his forehead rubbing against the ground, wishing the haunting memories would _leave_ _him_ _alone_. Yato tried to calm him down with words, but the only time his voice decided to work, his shinki's yells outweighed his words.

"Yukine-kun, i-it's alright! Please calm down..." tried Hiyori. She puffed a few times before continuing. "Stop... yelling..." She casted a helpless glance at the god after a few useless tries, obviously asking for help to calm the child down. The problem was that Yato was petrified.

Unable to speak.

Scared like he had never been for Yukine.

"Yato, we have to come home _now!" _cried Hiyori after a silence.

The throbbing in his voice had filtered most of her words, letting a few only incomprehensible sounds pass. His body felt like it was crumbling; it felt like it had been beaten over and over and over, during hours. Yukine was yelling next to him, yet their link made him feel like the sound was right in his head. He uselessly slammed his hands against his ears to try to stop the noise and winced, without success.

He felt nauseous. Like he was _very_ close to fainting.

Hiyori had crawled next to Yukine while he wasn't looking, caressing his back and murmuring him soothing words. For a fraction of a second, all the god's senses cleared, and his ears picked up a faint vibration of the ground beneath him. Footsteps.

He turned around just in time to see something thick and grey descend on him that he blocked with his bare hands. He winced when he felt the sharp sword incise his palms and shear his flesh, and scrambled to his feet to send the goddess away with a strong kick to the stomach.

Bishamon got the air knocked out of her lungs as she slammed against a tree a few metres away. She slowly slid down it, feeling its bark scrape against her bare back under her black vest. She felt all her shinki's worries swarming in her chest, making the task to breathe impossible. "I-I'm fine," she managed to wheeze. "Don't worry for me, children."

"Children," repeated Yato with disdain. The god used the time she took to regain her composure to examine his bloodied hands, and winced at the gashes in them. If he didn't know better, he would say that she had firmly intended to chop his hands off. It would definitely take some time to heal.

He wiped them on his jogging – bloodied hands reminded him too much of Father and Yaboku – and shot a look to the goddess. "Bishamon, what _the hell_ are you playing at?" he said in an annoyed and dangerous voice. "I have absolutely _no_ time to deal with you now."

He let out a small sigh in relief when some of his pain disappeared yet glanced behind him, worried that the cause of this relief was Yukine's collapsing because of panic.

But thankfully, it wasn't. The young boy was safely tucked in Hiyori's arms, trembling and probably still crying, but at least he wasn't looking like he was freaking out anymore. Hiyori didn't look like she would let him go despite her pallor and her injuries.

He smiled warmly at her during a split second before his gaze hardened again. She was losing blood, and Yukine was in shock too. It was high time he came home, but the goddess was stronger than she looked. She stood back up, a hand to her bruised stomach. "W-What on earth... are you doing here? How dare you s-soil my mansion with your presence, _murderer_?!"

"I really hope you are joking with me," he muttered in a deathly silent voice. "You injure my friends, _kidnap_ Hiyori and have the _nerve_ to ask me that? Sorry to have come, really... Maybe I should have waited that you _killed_ her to come, _huh_?!" he roared.

She looked behind him and saw the aforementioned young woman, wounded, holding a blond-haired boy in her arms. Her eyes widened a little bit; Yato read in them that she hadn't expected Hiyori's presence at all. Some of his anger faded away when he asked her. "You... You didn't bring Hiyori here?"

Her lips twisted into a smirk after a moment. "It doesn't matter, _Yatogami_. What's important is that you chose to show up here, giving me a perfect occasion to kill you _and_ take revenge for the Ma clan."

Kazuma tightened his lips and clenched his fists, dull eyes hidden behind his glasses, not daring to intervene in this fight between deities.

"...Nope, nope, nope, nope, _nope_. Definitely _not_. That's _not_ going to do," grumbled Kugaha, looking down at the scene. "How is Yato supposed to kill that pathetic excuse of a goddess without a weapon? He surely won't call his kid when he is in this state. He is so dumb."

Kugaha leant against the window and let his hand slide on his chin, frowning as he pondered about his plan's possibilities of success.

First of all, Yato was pissed off by his friend's kidnapping, and even more at seeing her hurt. He was certain that _now_, both gods nurtured enough animosity against the other to begin a death battle worthy of the name.

Bishamon's shinki, excepted himself and Aiha and the other ones she was wielding, were all dead or dying; he was certain to have sent enough Ayakashi to do the job. Blight would soon stain her, when the medicine's effects would wear off.

Bishamon was clearly weakened and disadvantaged against him. He had done everything he could to help the god of calamity win and advantage him over the goddess, but if Yato _didn't_ fight... Then everything went down the drain.

He rolled his eyes when he saw Bishamon, the owner of the title of goddess of war, being pushed away by the god's kick and smacking against the tree. When he saw her struggle to her feet with an angry expression, he had thought that the fight _would_ finally begin. However the only thing that begun was a conversation.

He threw his hands in the air. This wouldn't get him _anywhere_. Maybe it was time he intervened to take care of that mess.

Hiyori was lost. Yukine was a mess in her arms, but at least he had stopped yelling. Despite having calmed down a great lot, he wasn't alright yet, and she could see his grief was taking a toll on the god. Yato was wobbly on his feet, and his breathing was more sonorous than it should be.

Then what she feared the most happened: Bishamon attacked. Yato's dodges were sluggish, uncontrolled, and Hiyori felt her eyes water each time Bishamon's sword sliced her god.

Bishamon hit him once.

Bishamon hit him twice.

Tears fell from her eyes. She clutched Yukine's head against her. "Bishamon-sama, please wait!" she cried out. "I'm sure we can talk it out...! Please put that sword _down_!"

"Won't you do something else than _dodge_, calamity god? Because I got you good two times already despite your best efforts. Maybe the third time is the charm." Yato tsked at the mockery, covering a wound with one of his hands. He hated to admit that she was right; with a wound to the stomach and another to the head, a third time may be fatal for him.

"_Borderline!"_

A wave of energy appeared between Bishamon and Yato. Yukine's index and middle finger were pressed against each other firmly, directed towards the fight. His fingers were trembling, his nose was all red, and so were his eyes. "Yukine-kun..."

"I'm a-a-alright now, H-Hiyori. D-Don't worry." He drew in a shuddering breath and left her warm arms to stand up. He felt her fingertips weakly grab his sleeve, as if asking if he was really alright now. "I'm alright... I... c-can't look a-at you, though. Sorry."

She was bleeding too much. Seeing her would make him yell again. Or faint. She smiled and shook her head. "It's okay."

He turned towards her just enough so that she could see a glimpse of the fake smile on his face before hurrying at his god's side, who was knelt in front of the barrier, the palm of his hand covering his wound on his shoulder. _"_Yato, are you alright?"

"Stand back, it's dangerous," he replied in a heartbeat without looking at him. "Bishamon could shatter the barrier with that sword of hers."

"I-I'm here to help you. Ask me to transform, a-and we will fight her-"

"Yukine, _step back!" _snapped the blue-haired god, finally facing him. The icy look his master was giving him made Yukine freeze on the spot and his throat go dry. "It's _dangerous_; what don't you understand in that?!"

Yukine's face crumpled, and his arms fell limply to his sides. Kugaha's spiteful words rang once again in his head.

"_And I heard you're your god's only shinki… I would seriously worry if I were him. Thank goodness he still has his nora to rely on if he is in trouble, because just with you… He would have already disappeared."_

He had had a breakdown, true, but... Was Yato ready to abandon him just for that? Because he wasn't strong enough to protect him? This thought had always seemed ludicrous, because Yato had never given up on him before. Before, during and after the misogi, he had continued to believe in him...

And ever since he had finally learnt to deal with his... new situation, their relationship had continued to get better and evolve in a positive way. He though his god relied on him... that a single moment of weakness wouldn't cost him being released of his precious name, of his only identity.

The borderline vanished. "B-But Yato I-I can-"

"_Oh, enough!" _yelled a voice. Bishamon suddenly found herself being immobilized, arms pinned behind her back. _"Ane-sama!"_

Her attempts to struggle free revealed to be unsuccessful. "Ngh... Who are you?!" she yelled to her unknown aggressor. The voice laughed. "Hey. I know you couldn't care less about your shinki and have forgotten the name of more than the three quarters of them, but you don't even recognize the voice of someone who brings you medicine every day to hide your blights from your _children_?"

It had always made him sick, that false motherly attitude of hers. She blinked, and her gaze glassed over a little. "It's you K-Kugaha...?"

"Wow, you even found my name. I'm flattered." He held her tighter, and she winced. "Dear goddess, I can read the question in your eyes. _Why_, you probably ask? Well, it would be long to explain. Let's just say..." he brought a knife to her neck and whispered in her ear. _"It sickens me to be at the service of a pathetic and egoist little girl like you."_

The frightened goddess dove just in time to dodge the fatal hit and struggled free from the white-haired man's hold. The latter only blinked. "Wait, you don't hurt me? Don't tell me you're refusing to fight back just because I'm your shinki, Bishamon."

One quick look in her lavender eyes gave him the answer. He shook his head, looking half amused and half annoyed by the situation. Yato didn't know why, but he felt like punching him straight in the face right now. "Well, I fear you will have to consider me an enemy now for what I will do."

Large, inform and random purple blotches suddenly blossomed on the goddess' body, making her yell in pain and fall to her knees. Her own voice seemed to echo in her skull, blending with her shinki's who were yelling with her. A real cacophony. She would have wanted so much to free all her children from this inhumane suffering, but she couldn't move a single of her muscles otherwise she knew she would start yelling again. "It hurts, huh?"

Kugaha crouched next to her, and his enjoyment was clearly readable on his face. "Think that this is nothing compared to the pain that all your shinki were feeling from your neglect. You're only receiving an echo of it."

Bishamon stopped trying to stand up and fell flat on her stomach, barely able to breathe. "You're such a pathetic goddess... A goddess of war who has fallen low, unworthy of her name."

"All these ugly blotches on you... It's your superfluous shinki that are getting killed now, as we speak." The goddess panted sounds which were probably meant to be words to her shinki, who only smirked in a condescending way. "I sent Ayakashi to do the work. But honestly, you should thank me for getting rid of them. Once I eliminate them all... Then you and I, Bishamon, we will start over."

Aiha and Kazuma both shivered at Kugaha's tone of voice. "I will kill you, and your reincarnation will become the goddess of war that you were meant to be, not the kind of pathetic human mother that you are trying to be."

"That's rubbish," interjected Yato. He sighed before standing on his feet. "You're reasoning like a child. Bishamon is the way she is, and has been for centuries. Murdering everyone won't change anything to her nature. Genocide is not really a good way to get Mama's attention, is it Kugaha? Even more if you intend to kill her and make her reincarnate afterwards."

The shinki's eye ticked. "Shut up, god of calamity."

Yukinelaughed quietly, breaking the tense silence. "I can't believe it," he said when he was finished. His amused grin turned into a demonic one as his teeth turned into fangs."_Yo__**U**__'v_e_**d**_**O**n**e**_ iT a_g_a__**In**__!"_

Yato slowly turned his head towards his kid. Pure ire was in Yukine's eyes, directed wholly to Bishamon's white-haired shinki, and his fingers wouldn't stop twitching as if they were itching to attack his prey.

Yato's breath got caught in his throat when he saw Yukine's face, his physical pain completely forgotten. His expression crumbled. "Y-Yukine..."

Then it exploded with full force. A violent gust of dark wind emanating from Yukine blew Kugaha, Yato and Bishamon a few metres away. Yato's head bumped against the same tree Bishamon's body had a few moments ago, yet he didn't allow himself the luxury to stay dazed a moment.

He rushed to his feet despite his pain to block Yukine's way. "_Yuki_-"

"Yukine-kun, calm down! Your negative emotions are making you turn into an Ayakashi!" cried Hiyori, blocking the shinki's way exactly as Yato was doing.

He shot them a death stare. Yato and Hiyori winced at its intensity, but stayed firmly in place. He lowered his head little by little, hiding his furious eyes behind his fringe and gritting his teeth harder and harder at each instant. He wished they would just _move_.

The sound of something _snapping _made itself hear just before Yukine dashed forwards with a yell, his arm high in the air. Yato and Hiyori both gulped. _"Yukine, _stop_!"_

He had crossed the line. Yato knew he had to hurry, and bring him back before he had to slay him. Both Hiyori and himself were important persons to Yukine. Seeing both of them blocking his way would surely make him come back to his senses, and-

Hiyori gasped as Yukine's fingers, which had turned into claws, gashed her stomach. She yelled as the new wound started to bleed profusely, and fell completely limp. _"Hiyori!"_

Yukine... had killed her?

The possessed shinki immediately went after his master once Hiyori wasn't standing anymore. Yato had barely had time to open his mouth that blood bubbled out of it. Yukine wasn't as precise as usual, though. He had missed his master's heart, what he had obviously been aiming at, and instead succeeded in piercing one of his lungs. The god stayed frozen in shock, feeling suddenly cold, eyes glassy before Yukine withdrew his forearm from his chest.

He fell in a puddle of both his and Hiyori's blood.

Then everything started to blur. He heard Yukine's footsteps as he advanced towards his intended victim, his low animalistic growls, saw the expression on Bishamon's face, heard two new voice, and...

Everything became black as he passed out.

Yukine took four _full_ days to finally open his big orange eyes to a very early morning sky. He sat up in a rapid and fluid movement, his eyes immediately going to his left arm.

He didn't know why he was in a hospital bed or why he was alone or what was the reason he was feeling so tired. Well, actually he supposed he knew, but refused to believe it. It was more like a horrible nightmare.

He would _never _have soiled his hands with both the blood of his master and the one of his closest friend's. _Never_. Even if he was transformed.

His arm was clean at first glance. He almost sighed in relief before seeing that his fingernails had a strange red tint to them. This colour was unmistakable; it was a colour that he had only seen too much the last few days. _Way_ too much, and each time on persons he loved.

Except that this time, it was _his _fault. He gritted his teeth, placed his hands on both sides of his head and started to cry. He barely heard the sound of his door opening through his tears, yet felt the hand patting his back.

He yelped and tried to get away from whoever was trying to comfort him, only to fall loudly from his bed on his back. He heard more footsteps coming towards him and scrambled away from them, like a child terrified of receiving a punishment.

"_You _deserve _that, son," said a voice in his head. "I don't care about your tears. It's your fault your mother left, so assume responsibility."_

"_Don't come near me... Step b-back!" _he cried, trembling from head to toe. He couldn't watch, didn't dare looking up, but hoped with all his heart that it wasn't Yato in this room. His master that he had both let be in danger and tried to murder.

Or Hiyori. She was surely traumatized and terrified of him. He was nothing but a monster in her eyes, a beast that had tried to murder her...

Or maybe she was already dead. He didn't know.

He remembered it all too clearly. Bishamon's terrified face, Kugaha's white eyes as he stabbed him again and again, Kazuma and Aiha's cries as his own blight infected their bodies.

"_I... I'm d-dangerous... I..." _

"_You're such a pathetic son."_

The person stopped moving as the child's wails intensified. "_**I**__...__** I**__..."_

Someone took him in his arms and caressed his back. "Yukine, come," was whispered in his ear. "We are going out for a moment."

The morning air was sensibly colder outside of the hospital. Yukine never noticed that hospitals were so warm, nor so... silent. He slightly leaned in Yato's embrace as the latter wiped his tears. "I teleported us... You're safe now. Come on Yukine, look at me."

The shinki shook his head, so Yato grabbed his chin and forced him to do so. The god's face was nothing if not filled with tenderness and love, all directed at his kid. And Yukine didn't understand. How could he look at him like that when he had almost _murdered_ him? And probably Hiyori?

His pale face seemed to match his impeccable smile and light-blue eyes. "See. It wasn't that hard."

Yukine immediately looked away. "Where are we?" he mumbled without any motivation, wiping his running nose.

"I told you, we are outside. I want to show you something... Are you cold?" The child shook his head, but a shiver betrayed him. Yato only chuckled before giving him his jersey. Yukine's face immediately scrunched up. "I won't wear that unless you tell me last time you washed it."

"It was _today_, you meanie," he pouted. Yukine looked at the jacket a moment before eyeing the god. "Hey, don't look at me like that! It's true that it has been washed today. It still has the hospital's laundry smell. Smell!"

"...No, _thank_ _you_."

"Rude. Stop complaining and put it on, you're going to catch a cold. And it's not exactly the best thing to have after a fever, is it?"

Yukine chewed his lip and slipped in the jacket without further complaints. He didn't say anything when the god hesitated before wrapping a scarf around his neck. He felt like he had bothered Yato enough for a lifetime. After almost killing him and whining and crossing the line twice, the least he could do was to obey this time.

Yato's smile dimmed a little bit at Yukine's passiveness but he said nothing. Once Yukine was done, he stood up with a bright grin on his face. Yukine honestly thought it would be best for him to sleep, because he had never seen him so pale. "All right! Now that you're ready, let's go! I have something to show you."

Yukine blinked at what was in front of him during a good handful of seconds. He then looked at his god. "Isn't it amazing?! _This _is what I wanted to show you."

"...A zoo?"

"Yup!" he said too joyously. "The perfect place to go when one's mood is down. You will like it, promise." He pondered a second if the god was blind, or just stupid. Or maybe the fight with Bishamon had damaged some of his neurons? That would explain why he would be so enthusiastic to go in a zoo which, very obviously, was _closed_.

"Um, Yato... I don't know if you noticed, but it's kind of _closed. _We can't go in."

The black portal with the giant red sign was indeed beautiful, if that was what the god wanted to show. "I _know _that it's closed. Do you think I'm dumb? No wait, don't answer." Yukine smirked, and a small smile crept up the god's lips. "If we can't enter the normal way, then we will infiltrate! We will wear black suits and sunglasses so that we're unrecognizable, then escalade the fence and then land with a super cool roulade, like super agents!"

Yukine sighed. He should have expected this kind of answer from Yato. The god sobered a little. "I really want you to go, Yukine. It's important. Just that, and after that I will stop bothering you."

"Okay then," he mumbled after a moment, hunching his shoulders. "Let's go."

It was _great_. He felt a little bad for trespassing like that, but the advantage of coming this early was that there was no one else to bother them. The zoo was calm, and the chirping of birds along with the morning mist and the grey sky contributed painting an even more peaceful atmosphere. Then his god took his hand, and dragged him to all the animals' enclosures.

Yato laughed when he saw his reaction upon seeing these animals from so close, yet his laughs were never entirely genuine. Sometimes, his eyes saddened at the sight of Yukine's shining ones. _What kind of parents had never brought his children to do something simple, something like visiting a zoo?_ _I'm sorry you had such a sorry excuse of a father, Yukine. You deserved better_.

He helped Yukine read some of the kanji he couldn't on the animal's presentation's etiquette, and sometimes completed it with some info of his own. He took his hand and guided it if he was too scared to pet an animal, and carried him on his shoulders so that he could touch the giraffe's muzzle which was too high for him. Yukine saw lions, tigers, hippos, peacocks, and a myriad of other animals which he didn't even think they existed.

He looked excited, but more than anything _happy_, and that's all Yato had wanted. Finally seeing something else than tears on his face made his heart feel incredibly lighter. "Hey Yato, where are the elephants' enclosure on the map? We didn't see them yet!"

"Let's see..." thought the god out loud as he unfolded a map. "We are just next to panda's enclosure, so the elephants' shouldn't be too far. We just have to..."

Someone cleared their throat behind them. Yato's face fell. "Uh-oh."

As Yukine had thought it would happen, they got kicked out. And not nicely. The guard had grabbed his god by the collar and _threw_ _him_ _out_, refusing to listen at the god when he wailed that he was _sorry_ and that he had to do that for his kid and that he would pay. Yukine hurried to leave not to receive the same treatment, and then the portal closed shut.

Yato mumbled something that Yukine couldn't understand as his face was pressed against the ground before standing up. "Geez, what's his _problem_?!"

"The problem is probably that we entered in a zoo which was closed. We got lucky he didn't put us prison or made us pay a fine for that."

"Still, that was rude! I told him I would _pay_! Why didn't he listen to me?!"

"Maybe even _he_ knows that you're broke."

Yato's broke out in false tears, and Yukine smiled more genuinely than he had never had. He thrust his hands in his master's too big jacket. "Well, what should we do now?"

"Well, we can go back at Kofuku and Daikoku's house. You must be starved; it has been four days that you didn't eat. I asked Daikoku to cook something for us and Hiyori wants to see you too, so let's go."

All traces of happiness disappeared from the young man's face. The animals had distracted him so much that he had forgotten about what he had done. How could he face any of them? After almost murdering Hiyori... Daikoku and Kofuku surely didn't want to have a monster to their homes.

Yato draped an arm on his shoulders. "It's okay," he said in his softest voice, his fingers tangling in his blond tuft of hair. "It's okay."

He let Yato teleport him in front of their shrine. He didn't dare move, so Yato was the one who slid the door open. He hesitantly entered.

Hiyori rushed in Yukine's arms and to his greatest surprise, started to _weep_. Her action made him freeze, and caused blood rush to his face. "I-I'm so g-glad to see you awake, Yukine-kun! I-I was so _worried_!"

He had barely understood her words through her cries. His three attempts at making a sentence all failed, so he said nothing and let her hold him closer, her hand pressing his head against her shoulder. Another hand fell down in his shoulder. "Yukki, we missed you terribly!"

Daikoku's large hand ruffled his hair. "Home really isn't the same without you. It's good to see you again, kiddo."

Yato looked fondly as his kid received different marks of affection, ignoring Yukine's growing discomfort in his heart. His thoughts that he deserved none of that affection, that he was a dangerous monster who should be locked away somewhere for all eternity, and that Hiyori should step back now before he murdered her for real.

He thought sadly that there was only one bad person in this room, and that was surely not Yukine. Hiyori was the first one to let go of him, letting out a watery laugh when she saw his face. "I'm glad to see you."

"_Hiyoriiiiiii_..." whined the god, opening his arms. "Forget about Yukine a sec, and think about me! What about _my _hug?"

The student smiled at the god before nodding and advancing towards him. The god spread his arms wider and grinned, hoping that Hiyori's form would soon come in them.

"_JUNGLE SAVATE!"_ The strength of the kick sent him flying against a wall, leaving a dent in it. A few pieces of rubble fell atop of his head, and he coughed. "_Hiyori, you brute!_"

Kofuku laughed, closing the buttons of her blouson. Yukine frowned at them, wondering if they were leaving. Hiyori and Daikoku looked ready to do so. "Hey Hiyorin, maybe we should leave them a little bit alone. Yato-chan and Yukki have to eat lunch, and they probably need calm. We are going to be late at the restaurant anyways."

"Hiyori-chan, Kofuku and I are going to eat outside," announced Daikoku. "The food is in the fridge, but if you don't want to eat it then you can take what's on the stove. Take care of yourself, both of you." He patted both of their shoulders before sliding the door shut behind them.

An awkward silence fell down in the room. Yukine quickly headed for the kitchen with his plates to serve himself a small quantity of the food in the fridge, absolutely not feeling like eating anything yet feeling like doing so would be impolite to Daikoku, who had prepared so much food for them. The god seemed to be hungry, though. He filled his plate with both types of food Kofuku's shinki's had prepared before settling around the table.

"What do you want to know?" asked the god around a mouthful of sushi. "No need to beat around the bush. You probably have about a thousand questions to ask me." Yukine stiffened and put down his chopsticks, not even wanting to pretend being eating his food. "Wh-What happened at Bishamon's mansion?"

"You crossed the line," answered the god calmly before taking another bite of his food. "Your negative emotions towards Kugaha were too strong, and you transformed in a form more advanced than during the misogi. Hiyori and I both tried to stop you, but you slashed us and continued to go towards him. I lost consciousness because of blood loss when I saw you stab him for the first time with your Ayakashi arm. At some point you fainted too. I heard that Kofuku and Daikoku are the ones who saved us three."

Yukine felt bile rise up in his throat while Yato continued to eat in a slow pace, his eyes not leaving the kid in front of him. He bit his lip. "Are you going to release me?"

It would make sense. He had already crossed the line once, and being released would be a good enough punishment to have reiterated this mistake. He didn't want to, but if it was what Yato had decided...

"Of course not," laughed quietly the god. "I won't release you unless you ask me to do it. None of what happened is your fault." He gulped down the last piece of food before lying on his back, disappearing from Yukine's view. "Although you might think that I'm not saying the truth..."

"I more than owe you a few apologies." Yukine clenched his fists silently. "I shouldn't have let you go alone in the night. I shouldn't have brought you with me to go fight Bishamon while you were still emotionally fragile from the loss of Suzuha. I... I thought about Hiyori's safety more than your emotions at that time, and I apologize for this. I acted impulsively, and this almost caused me to lose you. I can't even imagine how scared you must have been. I'm sorry, Yukine."

Yato's voice sounded terribly apologetic, something that Yukine couldn't understand despite his best efforts. "Wh-What on earth are you saying," wept Yukine, his hands uselessly wiping the tears from his eyes. "N-None of what happened i-is _y-your_ fault... D-Damn it all... I-If only I was stronger then I wouldn't have _snapped! _A single death _shattered_ me! _Can't you see that, Yato?! I'm nothing but a danger and a monster that almost murdered __**four**__ persons!_"

"There are no monsters or dangers here!" cut sharply the god as the kid was trying to regain his breathing. "You're just a child, Yukine... Don't put so much pressure on yourself, trying to repress your emotions. You did your best to control them."

"But I almost killed you _twice_! I'm convinced both Hiyori and you have nightmares about me killing you or yelling." The god flinched, unseen by the shinki. "You... If you keep me with you, one day I could... I-I-I never wanted to hurt you like I did, Yato...! _Why_ did that happen?!"

There they were, the ever so familiar tears.

"Even when you were possessed, you didn't kill anyone. What makes you think that something will go wrong now that you're calmer? You can never learn if you don't do mistakes. A lot of stuff happened to you during a too short span of time. It's normal to have cracked."

"But _you _never crack. I-It's not fair I'm the o-only one who does."

Yato stayed silent. "Actually, I did," exhaled the god. He covered his eyes with his forearm. "The moment I woke up. I had been brought in a hospital room, and left as soon as the doc allowed me to to check if you were all fine and alive. Hiyori was asleep... I wanted to stay with her, but since her parents were already there, I left. And headed directly towards your room. Do you know what happened then? What was the first thing I heard?"

Yato smiled sadly at the shinki's silence. "I heard a scream. Coming from a nurse. She kept yelling that they couldn't reanimate you. When I heard that, I totally froze."

Yukine gulped and looked away guiltily. "Then I thought... I thought that if I had protected you from the very beginning, then you wouldn't have had to suffer all this. I almost lost you twice in less than a week, kid, and that terrified me. I _cracked_, during these days you were unconscious. A miracle wouldn't be a strong enough word to describe you being here in one piece, and I don't _ever _want to go through that again."

He cleared his throat. "My point being, Yukine, that crying or being sad is far from being a sign of weakness. Everyone does that. The big and tough Daikoku cries, the goddess of war Bishamon cries, Hiyori cries, and Kofuku does too. I, too, am far from being as strong as you think I am. But it's _okay_, alright? It's okay to be grieving for your friend. It's okay to cry. Cry for as long as you need. That won't make you weak. And so that you know, you will _always_ be the strongest person I have ever met. You're my kid, my partner, and I _need_ you."

Yato held his kid tight against him, the latter having run in his arms just after his god's last sentence. "I know... that going through that kind of things alone would destroy anyone, and that's not what I want for you. Never be ashamed of coming to talk to me whenever you want to, and I will help you pick up the pieces of yourself. Okay?"

Yukine nodded, and ended up crying himself to sleep in his god's arms, dreaming of being happy and surrounded by various animals with Yato and Hiyori and all the persons he cared about.

Yato was probably right. After all, gods never lied.

* * *

**I think I will add one or two more chapters to this. Thanks for reading :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Yato wasn't pleased to see Bishamon waiting on Kofuku's doorstep. In fact, his expression had turned into one of anger and annoyance just at the sight of her face, before his brain had even understood who she was.

She was in her formal military clothes, and had no shinki with her. At least, it didn't seem to be the case. Maybe she had, and had planned a surprise attack, or just intended to bother him by bringing her shinki with her; he never knew what was going on in that twisted mind of hers.

The goddess held the flowers in her hands tighter at the sight of the half-asleep god in pyjamas and looked away. She looked terribly uncomfortable. "What do you want this early, Bishamon?"

"M-My apologies for this impromptu visit, Yato." She had hesitated before calling him like that. But since that old quarrel of theirs was finally solved, and that they had talked after that incident at her mansion, she thought it was high time to begin a new healthier relation. "I'd like to have a talk with your shinki. Is he awake?"

She more than owed him apologies. About everything that happened to him was her fault anyway. "Nah, my kid is still sleeping," yawned the god. "He's been having a hard time sleeping ever since this mess at your mansion. Nightmares and stuff. He will wake up when he will."

She felt even guiltier now. "I-I see. My apologies for this inconvenience."

A silence fell between the two. "Well, since you're here, you might as well enter," sighed finally the god. "If you came this early, that means that you didn't eat. I'm sure I can find you something in the fridge that Daikoku cooked."

Well, she hadn't expected that so much hospitality from Yato. Bishamon nodded and slipped in the house without a sound before he withdrew his offer. _It's warmer than what I thought it would be, _thought the goddess as she took off her vest to fold it on the genkan. She looked around curiously while waiting for Yato, a faint sadness pinching her heart after a moment.

It occurred to her that she had never been inside the goddess of poverty's house.

She had been friends with Kofuku since a long time, though. Yet she realized only now that she barely knew anything about her. How was her house, or what her shinki was like. She bit her lip, ashamed of herself. _Shinki aren't the only persons I neglected, it would seem._

Yato came back from the kitchen with a few plates that he laid on the table, along with jam, fruits, brioche, a big bottle of orange juice and a kettle of hot water to make tea. "Sorry, they're only leftovers of what we ate yesterday. I could cook you something, but it'd be nowhere as good as what Daikoku cooked. And I'm too tired to do it anyway..."

She shook her head and thanked him with a small smile, thankful that he had taken the time to do this for her, who was an enemy until not so long ago. The other god settled down across from her and took a slice of brioche from one of the plates. She did the same to spread strawberry jam all over it, and Yato smiled at her expression when she took a bite of it. "It's good, huh? Daikoku's the best at cooking. He did everything himself, even the brioche. I heard that thing is almost impossible to make."

She smiled and took another bite. She would definitely have to try to make the same one at home, with all her shinki. "So, what's going to happen with your shinki now?" Yato asked once she was finished eating.

"My shinki, huh..." Her eyes glassed over. "I will treat them better. You, Kazuma, as well as Kugaha too," she added more silently, the pain of the memory of the shinki that she had released still raw and stinging. "A-As you all three said... I name too much shinki. But that's a part of what I am, something that I'm certain that won't change. I can't bring myself to let an innocent soul disappear without giving it a second chance."

Snippets of all his shinki's previous' lives flashed through his mind, and his eyes dulled a little. All of them had _indeed_ deserved a second life; he didn't want to think about what would have happened if their souls had been devoured by Ayakashi because no one had come to save them.

The god understood the feeling. "So if I still intend to give them a name and a second life, the least I can do is to help them have the most pleasant one possible. I... I've lost both the Ha clan and the Ma clan because of the same mistake. I won't let it happen a third time."

"Now that I think about it... I don't know if I am really mad at you for annihilating the Ha clan. The more I think about it, and the more I think that if they had still been alive, they would probably have had a miserable life with the neglectful and unloving me of before anyway."

Yato stayed silent a moment. "You shouldn't say that. It's good that you're ready to change, though. Shinki are precious, so it's important to take care of them and treat them properly," he mumbled gulping down another piece of food. It was high time she acted more reasonably anyway. Another silence fell down, although this one was a lot more comfortable. The deities continued their breakfast tranquilly, talking about this and that, until the god's eyes stumbled across the bouquet next to Bishamon. He frowned. "Uh-uh."

She frowned as he reached out from the other side of the table to take out a single red rose from it. He eyed the rest of the flowers curiously before settling down. "Not giving _that_ flower to my kid, Bishamon."

"Why not? Do you hate it _that_ _much_ when your child is given expensive gifts?" joked the goddess.

Yato's gaze sharpened a little bit. "I'm not joking. You won't give it to him."

"It's just a _rose_, Yato. He isn't scared of the colour red, is he?" she asked in disbelief, slightly amused by the idea that he would be scared of something as inoffensive as a colour.

"That amuses you?" said sharply Yato, all trace of good humour gone now. "He may be scared of that because it's the same colour as blood. You know, the inoffensive _red_ that was all over Suzuha's corpse when your shinki murdered him right under his eyes. Or on Hiyori's body when you kidnapped her, and he thought that she would die. Did it ever occur to you that he might be scared because of that?"

Bishamon froze. Was it really that bad...? "Yeah, it's _that_ bad," Yato said darkly, reading her thoughts on her face. "He doesn't even want to touch meat anymore. When Daikoku offered him to cook together, he went straight to the toilet to throw up because the _smell_ of meat reminds him of Suzuha's flesh when he was torn apart by the wolves. Maybe you would have been scared too if you were _here_."

Bishamon shrunk on herself, her heart beating fast and deeply embarrassed to have even brought up that subject. Yato let out a calming breath and rubbed his face. He was more tired than he thought, to snap like that. "...Sorry for that, Bishamon. I... I don't actually know if it bothers him to see red, but I won't risk him having a panic attack."

She nodded without daring to look at him. She never did want to make Yukine go through all this. She felt so guilty... The tense silence was broken by a loud _boom _coming from the stairs, startling both deities.

Yato burst out laughing, recognizing the sound and having stopped worrying about it by now. Yukine had fallen from the stairs and was huddled up on himself at its base, his face covered by his arms and his thin fingers covering his reddened forehead.

Bishamon gasped and rushed at his side while Yato's giggles made him roll on the floor. "Again, _Yukine_?! It's the sixth time you fell down these stairs this week! You should buy yourself armour with your pocket money!"

Bishamon sighed in relief. The young shinki seemed to be alright, save his probably wounded pride and a few tears in his eyes. He grumbled something sounding like an insult towards his god before murmuring something in the goddess' ear. Bishamon blinked twice before nodding at him. "Um... Yato, you should come see that. I think it's important: his head is bleeding."

Yato's laughs stopped immediately as he rushed to his feet to kneel next to his kid. He was hurt, how could he have let his kid suffer and bleed again while he was laughing-

Yukine's mask of pain disappeared as he whipped his foot up to strike his god on the temple, his movements terribly similar to Hiyori's. A thousand of stars exploded in Yato's head as he fell unconscious. "Tch. Next time he makes fun of me I will make this NEET stay unconscious for a week."

Bishamon blinked.

Yukine rubbed his forehead a few times more before his pout let place to a confused expression. "B-Bishamon-sama? What are you doing here?"

"Ah, well..."

"What was that noise?" said Kofuku worriedly, Daikoku hot on her heels. She saw first Yukine, then the passed-out Yato next to him, and smiled and relaxed. "Oh, did you fall down the stairs again, Yukki? We told you could sleep downstairs if you want. Or do you want Yato-chan to stay with you?"

He blushed and looked away. "No need to go downstairs, and no need to make Yato come too. I'm with him enough time during day. A-And anyway, I wasn't very awake, Kofuku-san. That's why I fell."

Daikoku's gaze softened. "If you say so, then I believe you. Now come, I will make you breakfast."

The younger shinki's blush darkened as he stepped over the body of his unconscious master and followed Daikoku without a word. It was clear that Daikoku didn't believe him. He had said the same thing each time this little scene had happened.

"Hey, Bisha! What brings you here?" The goddess opened her mouth to answer, but was cut by Kofuku. "Why are you dressed already? Breakfast has to be taken in pyjamas; it's an important rule here!"

Bishamon smiled at the small goddess. "I actually came earlier to see Yukine... but he hadn't woken up then. And concerning that rule, I'm afraid I will have to derogate it. I didn't bring any other clothes with me."

Kofuku slammed her hands on her hips, looking _dead_ serious. "You _can't_!" she yelled. "Breakfast has to be taken in pyjamas, and I _insist_! I won't let _anyone_ in my shrine _disobey_ that rule!"

"O-Okay, all right," stuttered Bishamon. She had known her for centuries, yet has never seen her so furious. And never thought she would get so angry about something so trivial, either. "If that's what you want, Kofuku-dono, then I will go back to my shrine and-"

"No need to go back, stay here!" smiled Kofuku. "I have plenty of too-big pyjamas that Daikoku bought me. I'm sure at least one of them will fit you! Come, come!"

She didn't put up much of a fight and let the other goddess drag her in her bedroom to try all the clothes she wanted to put on her. It was, she supposed, a way to bond with her. Kofuku looked like she was having a great time as she rummaged in her pile of clothes, put on some shirts or dresses on her model and saw if it suited her or not. They both found themselves laughing at some of the clothes they found, or how it suited the goddess.

She finally went for a long purple dress with black shoulder straps, and made her a special haircut with her long blonde hair so that it would go perfectly with it. Bishamon unexpectedly found herself enjoying that short time with the goddess of poverty and spoke solemnly once she was done. "I will buy some salt."

Kofuku frowned at her, the pom-pom on her bonnet tilting to a side. "Some purifying salt. So that your unlucky aura d-doesn't affect us when we are out."

_When we are out?_

Kofuku's frown turned into a dazzling smile that widened second after second. The goddess of war blushed, not having imagined that saying that would have made her so happy. "Oh, yay! Thanks a lot, Bisha!"

* * *

Bishamon actually learned a lot from a single breakfast. Not only some info about her friends-

Friends, huh... Yeah, she supposed they were now. Her friends. Although it felt strange, when half of the people living in this shrine had been her enemies a few days ago_._

But also about how a true family acted towards each other. She wasn't exactly sure she wanted her shinki to hit her like Yukine had often done to Yato, though. But she took mental notes. She would ask her shinki how they did sleep, if they were hungry... She never realized so small things could have so much importance.

Kofuku and Daikoku left in the beginning of the afternoon, and Yato had left the living room to wash the dishes, leaving Bishamon and Yukine alone. Both the shinki and the goddess found nothing to say to the other, so they both settled for listening to the sound of the water in the kitchen and Yato's out of tune singing, although Yukine wanted nothing more than strangling him so that the horrible sound would stop.

He gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. The sound nuisance that was his god's singing would have to wait until he found out why Bishamon was here. He didn't want to have any witnesses.

Something in his stomach churned uncomfortably. "Why... I don't want to be rude, but why are you here, Bishamon-sama?"

She stayed silent a moment, wondering how she should word it. _I simply wanted to apologize for all the things I put you though. My own neglect of shinki ended up making you suffer something terrible, a death that will haunt you for the rest of your life, something I wish it would never have happened._

She nodded to herself. "I-I-I simply... would like you to give me gardening lessons," she blurted instead. Her words made her blink in confusion, and she berated herself for a split second, because it wasn't _at all_ what she came for.

Yukine's face scrunched up, wondering if he had heard her right. "What did you just say?"

She sighed inaudibly. Now that she had said that, she had to continue. _Geez, I would never have thought it was so hard to apologize to someone. Maybe it's harder because he is a child?_ "I-I know you learnt a lot of things about gardening, and I would like you to teach me. The different species of plants, how to recognize them, or plant them. Would you accept? I will pay you."

"You came only for that...?"

"O-Of course," she said without assurance.

He eyed her a moment before looking away. "W-Well, um, I don't see why not. If that's what you want. Though I doubt it will be enough to repay how gravely I hurt you," he added in a whisper.

Bishamon's expression saddened but she acted like she hadn't heard anything. Was he still feeling guilty? "Very well then. I will wait for you next Sunday, in front of my mansion. You can come whenever you want to."

* * *

Yukine shifted from foot to foot in front of the goddess' mansion, his stature screaming uneasiness. He clutched the handle of the bag in his hand tighter, where the potted plants and the sachets of seeds were, and waited.

And waited.

He sighed and knocked on the door again. A tall brown-haired man with glasses opened him, and they both froze at the sight of the other.

Yukine froze because he remembered that he had hurt him in Bishamon' palace. Kazuma had shielded his goddess from Yukine's attack with his own body, and that he had seen blight slowly take over his skin. Actually, he didn't think he would still be alive after his rampage. But it was surely a good thing. If even he was alive, then that meant that the other pink-haired girl who had tried to stop him was alive too. That reduced the number of his victims of this day to only one, Kugaha, which was less that was he had thought, while still being too much.

Kazuma did because he would have never thought that Yukine could be saved after transforming entirely. He was losing consciousness at that time so he wasn't exactly sure, but he thought that Yukine stopped his attacks only after seeing everybody around him dying. He remembered all too clearly his animalistic growls, his yellow monstrous eyes and the confusion on his face, as if he was wondering why wasn't anyone standing.

"G-Good afternoon, Yukine," he saluted after recovering from his shock. His expression relaxed a little bit. "Are you here to see Vee-"

"I'm sorry!" he cried out, bowing so that he wouldn't have to look at one of his victims in the eyes. "I-I'm sorry I hurt you that day. I wasn't controlling m-myself, and I promise I would never have done that otherwise. I-It's alright if you don't forgive me, but-"

"Yukine," he chuckled. "It's alright now. It's done, and I am not in the slightest angry at you." He had been a moment, but after seeing him delirious from his fever in the hospital bed and repeating frantically that he didn't want to hurt anyone and that he was _sorry_, he wasn't at all anymore. He had talked with Bishamon and Yato about it, too. "You're here to see Veena, right? She said she had been waiting for someone to give her gardening lessons."

"Y-Yes..."

"Then wait here. I will go get her." The other shinki disappeared in the sombre corridor, and Yukine let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He didn't know when his palms had started to get moist, or when his heart had started to beat so strongly.

He wondered why he wasn't angry at him. If someone had almost killed him _and_ his master, then he would make sure that person wouldn't be alive anymore. He would track the threat down until they were neutralized.

Now that he thought about it... It's pretty much what he did.

_He didn't know what was going on. He just couldn't stop himself from hitting Kugaha. He didn't know whether it was himself or the Ayakashi within him that made him do that. There was just something in his mind that repeated him the same things over and over._

_The bastard insulted my _master_. He murdered Suzuha. I _have _to kill him. __**Kill**__ him. Kill, kill, _**kill**.

_Some blood leaked out of Kugaha's mouth that the shinki didn't have the strength to cough up. Little by little, Bishamon's shinki stilled, becoming unresponsive to the pain Yukine was inflicting him. He stayed immobile, unconscious, pale, and something in Yukine's mind made him freeze at this sight. Yukine growled before slowly retracting his hand from Kugaha's stomach. He looked at the blood dripping from his Ayakashi claws with a frown._

_He looked around him with wide eyes._

_Why wasn't anyone up?_

His eyes started to sting him at the reminiscence of what happened at Bishamon's mansion.

Bishamon came out, with a bright smile on her face. "Oh Yukine, you're here early!"

He wiped his eyes before she could notice his tears and cleared his throat. "Y-Yes. So are you ready to begin the lesson?"

"Of course I am!" She looked so glad... Yukine wished some of her enthusiasm could rub off on him. "And I forgot to ask you last time, but would it bother you if Kazuma, Aiha and my other shinki came too? Maybe they can beneficiate from your teachings."

Yukine nodded and asked the goddess and her shinki to follow him to the place he had chosen. His stomach wouldn't stop tying in a knot.

He really wanted to apologize to her.

Bishamon went to bed with the _biggest_ smile on her face.

She would never have suspected spending time with the persons she loved to call her children could bring her so much happiness. There had been, not too long ago, a dark, cold place in her heart that was filled with nothing but blind rancour and anger towards Yato. A divine wrath that she had stubbornly refused to question for far too long, and which had guided her to a path leading to the opposite of what she strived to be.

But her shinki had succeeded into bringing her back before she reached the point of no return. Thanks to them, that heavy weight had been lifted off her heart, and her rage had given way to a sweet and warm feeling of love in her chest towards her shinki.

She had not only learned with them today, but had also learned a lot _about_ them. Each little anecdote she had heard during this afternoon had brought a smile on her lips. She had spent a lovely and irreplaceable moment, and had never felt so happy during all her centuries of existence.

Someone knocked on her door. Her exemplar entered, holding a steaming cup of tea in one of his hands. Her gaze softened on him. "Thank you, Kazuma."

Kazuma chuckled as he handed her the mug. "Veena, you are going to have cramps when you wake up if you keep this smile all night."

"It's not my fault. It's you who just won't stop feeling happy. My mouth moves on its own." Kazuma looked at her with a genuine smile. "It's great what you did today, Veena. Doing something with you definitely changed their minds. I've even heard that they want another lesson, when Yukine will want to give one."

"You deserved it, all of you." She looked at her shinki fondly, and a small blush involuntarily appeared on his face at the intensity of her gaze. She was beautiful. "I love you all so much. I'm glad you all enjoyed that day as much as I did, and even prouder to be able to call you my children. I never realized the luck I had before, but I promise I will take better care of you now."

Kazuma's face reddened more. He didn't know why Bishamon was getting all sentimental like this, but he was pretty sure his flush had darkened when he had heard her say that she loved him. This is what she had said, right? Also that she wanted to take care of him.

The sound of his beating heart almost drowned her words. "What's wrong, Kazuma? You're all red."

"Ane-sama?" asked a little girl, clutching a teddy bear under her arm. "The thunder scares me. Can I sleep with you, please?"

"Of course you can. Climb up." The child's face brightened as she started to climb up her goddess' bed. "Are you sleeping with us too, Kazuma? This bed is big enough for three."

Kazuma froze, wondering if he had heard her right. Had she just proposed him to _sleep_ together?

...

...

That was too much.

"N-No, thank you, Veena!" he stuttered, his voice high pitched and wavering. "I-I-It's getting really late, I should r-really go to sleep now. G-Good night to both of you."

He had slammed the door behind him before she had even time to add anything. She pouted at her shinki's coldness. _Weird._

She shrugged, posed her mug on her night table, and tucked the shinki next to her in her blanket. "Ane-sama, I really don't like thunder."

"I know," said sadly Bishamon as she ran her hand through her dark hair. "I know how much it scares you. But don't worry. Thunder will not hurt you; I'm here to protect you from it."

* * *

Yato knew that something was still wrong with Yukine. He was starting to grieve properly for his lost friend, talked again and was generally feeling a lot better, but there was still something important bothering him, and Yato was almost sure he knew what it was.

He waited until night had fallen to talk about it. "Hey Yukine, what did Bishamon and you talk about? You never told me."

The answer came, fast and sharp, slightly muffled by the blanket over Yukine's mouth. "Maybe because it's none of your business. Go find yourself a life instead of asking questions about mine."

"Meanie! I do have a life, you know!"

"Of course you do. I don't doubt that a _single_ second."

Yato pouted. He was pretty sure that if sarcasm could be felt physically, then he would have died of his injuries a long time ago. Still, it felt good to hear him be more himself. "Yukine, I want to _knooow... _Pretty _please_..."

"She just apologized to me," said Yukine, his tone of voice between a grumble and a sigh. "I told her not to, though. She said she was sorry about Suzuha, and me also transforming too. And you know what?"

"What?"

"After she said that, she was actually going to say something else, but then she screamed because some nobody god came out of _nowhere_ and interrupted us!"

Yukine was glad he wasn't becoming crazy. He had been sure that someone had been looking at him all day, and that impression had been confirmed by Yato. Who, having nothing better to do, had decided to stalk him. And after that, Yato complained when he called him a creep?

"But I was _worried_ about you! I know that the crazy chick isn't mad at me anymore, but who knows? I didn't know what she was saying to you, and I was curious..."

Yukine shrugged the covers off himself. "You're so annoying, be glad I'm too tired to punch you. I'm going to get some water," he said while padding towards the door.

"Kugaha is alive, you know," said seriously the god. Yukine froze. "You severely wounded him, but you didn't kill him. Bishamon released him. I think that's what she wanted to tell you, because she guessed you probably felt guilty about it."

Yukine started to shake. "You killed no one that night, and you are back to us. I don't think that someone who, despite a transformation into the vilest form of life that exists here, _never _killed anyone deserve to be called a monster, huh? Don't be too hard on yourself, because what you accomplished was great. You didn't succumb to your Ayakashi part, and I'm very proud of you for doing so."

Yukine wept as silently as he could, trying his hardest not to shake. So he had murdered no one that day... "I-I'm so _glad_..."

"What did you say, kid? I didn't hear you," said Yato with mirth in his voice, having heard perfectly well his kid's silent voice.

Yukine took a few deep breaths and tightened his grip on the stairs' handrail. "I-I said that I was going t-to get a glass of water. Are you senile, or just stupid, t-to have already forgotten?"

He was glad that Yato was at his sides.


End file.
